Tuesday, March 29, 2011

"Call me old fashioned but the man should earn the money" Mary Jo Shively

I'm tempted to watch Our America on the Oprah Winfrey Network, but I think I'll continue to hold out. Also, I'm watching a show from two weeks ago that we recorded so the show I was interested in isn't on tonight. It was Our America with Lisa Ling and the topic was Mail Order Brides.

Are American men fed up with the feminist movement and are no longer wanting wives in suits while they are paying someone else to raise the kids? Maybe. Are American men no longer finding women with manners? Possibly. Among many other things.

I am currently reading Bring Up Girls by Dr. James Dobson, and it is terrifying me. Our girls growing up way to fast, thanks, Abercrombie and Fitch for the push-up tri angle bikini top for 7 year olds, and women today are brought up to be completely different than in the past. Activists are teaching girls to be more like men...agressive, tough, unemotional and tomboyish.

Manners in a women. Forget it. Eating and talking with food in your mouth, yep, seen that one, guilty myself, on occasion. The lack of thank yous, whether hand written and mailed, said verbally or even emailed, yep, seen that recently too. (One I need to get written to to Elle's Godparents for her new headbands. Thank you, we really love them, and have already worn them several times. We didn't realize how much she "needed" a plain white one!) I realize that we are all busy, but too busy to thank someone when they went out of their way for us? I worked for a very unpleasant women who has opened a charm and manners school, at first, I thought it was a stupid idea, but looking at things from a different perspective of how much I need to teach Elle to be proper and appropriate, I wish I had thought of it myself.

Here's the link to the news segment on the bikinis. I can't imagine why there are so many pedophiles known in today's society. Could it be because our little girls are no longer dressing like little girls? The young girls dancing in the video just baffles me. I can't believe that any parent would allow their child to do that.

Or what about this one for won't even cover their diaper!

In our house, we believe that most of the "raising" of the children is done during the day, between the hours of 8am and 5pm. This is the time when the kids are awake and the time that the parent gets to teach them everything. I only get her for a little while and want to teach her as many good things as I can. We're so thankful that our days aren't rushed, I no longer have to be at work by 7am, which would only leave a few hours each night for us to spend with her...minus cooking dinner, cleaning the house and doing laundry, of course. Instead, our days are filled with playing in the floor, hanging out in the jumperoo or exersaucer, running errands but still doing laundry, it can't wait, but the rest of the house work sure can.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Why, yes, I am crazy.

I'm crazy because it's 52 degrees, cloudy and I'm having a garage sale. I'm sitting in the garage, alone, freezing, with a bunch of stuff that I don't want any more. Doesn't that sound crazy to you? Two things that I'm very thankful for today: a space heater and a North Face jacket...but it's still cold. I've sold lots of stuff and actually made pretty good money today. Now, if I can just talk myself into doing this again tomorrow....

This is called guilt. Plain and simple. Remy wants on the sofa soooo bad that he will lay his head on your leg until you let him take a nap with you. He was really warm one day last week so he was successful with me, but Matt's already asleep here, so he won't get the okay. That spot, behind your legs, in the corner of the sofa is perfectly sized for a 65lb weimeraner, in case you were wondering.

Elle's new outfit from Josh and Sabrina. Plus, she has pink sequined shoes to match!

And since Michael asked, the frog is the one Matt made, the pink dog is the one we just ordered (thanks Mia!)

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Meet Suzanne.

This is Suzanne, my brand new Samsung SF410. We named it after Suzanne Sugarbaker and her chrome pistol with mother of pearl handle that I thought she carried. I have yet to find any documentation of this. I can only find that she had a large semi-automatic rifle, but traded down to a small hand gun after accidentally firing it at Julia, Mary Jo and Charlene. If Suzanne Sugarbaker didn't carry a chrome pistol with mother of pearl handle, she should have.

Elle is modeling her new headband and flower that she got as a gift today.

Her hair smells good.

Just hanging out.

Me to Matt: I'll be getting ready for the garage sale this week, so you know that you'll need to park your $15,000 car outside so I can store my $200 worth of junk in the garage, right?

Friday, March 18, 2011

LOST: One Stuffed Lion with attached Pacifier

My, what big feet you have.

Elle and I went to do a little shopping yesterday evening. I had been really struggling with not being able to get back into my pre-pregnancy jeans (because everyone told me how easy it would be) and have been really watching what I've been eating and hitting the gym. Matt told me he was surprised I would risk my health (wasn't really, but whatever) to save $100 to not buy new jeans. Check mate.

So, the search began. We went to Target in Fayetteville and I found 2 pairs of jeans on clearance for $6.24. God provides, no matter how small. Then we went to Kohls for some denim capris. I found 2 pairs, plus a few other things and got to use my 20% coupon a day early (thanks store manager Melissa). Some where in the store, Elle through her pacifier out of the stroller. I called the store this morning and no one had turned it in. I'll check back. We made it through 7 1/2 months with out losing something. I think that's pretty good, I was sure it would have happened before now.

We have two of the WubbaNub pacifiers, the other is a giraffe. Her diaper had leaked the night before in the crib and I wanted to make sure the giraffe had a date with the washing machine before she got him bedtime, no WubbaNub, uh oh. A single pacifier in the crib wasn't working well, so we ended up cutting one of the stuffed animals off her Jumperoo and Matt sewed a pacifier to it. Turned out pretty well, she went right to sleep after that.

I'm hoping Lion will turn up at Kohl's and I can go pick him up.

She has really been interested in the tags on things like the boppy and stuffed animals. We have a taggie blanket that was given to us as a gift, but it's just a little too big to be a toy, so today we made these:

I made the white one first. and the ribbons are a little too long. The brown one turned out much better. At least she has something else to chew on.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


We were just discussing the passing of Nate Dogg. Matt didn't know who that was. WarrenG....TuPac...Snoop Dogg. Matt relates Warren G to Warren G Harding the former president. Ummm...not exactly. So, while I was immersed in pop culture as a teenager, Matt was gaining intelligence.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Where are the Children?

And by that, I mean All My Children. Oh, right, they aren't on because the SEC tournament is far more important. What better way to spend my day than to watch college basketball. I'm missing a soap opera, and I don't appreciate the interruption in my make believe world of devious entertainment and all for a game watching a bunch of college students run up and down a gym with an orange bouncy ball. Except for today, when Obama was having a press conference, I'm honestly surprised to see that he took precedence over basketball, this is the south, after all. Thank goodness for SoapNet.

As you may have guessed, sports aren't popular in our house. It's one of the reason I knew my husband was "the one." We think sports are a waste of time, I have other useless, minding numbing things I could be watching on TV, like any of the Kardashian shows.

Here's my challenge to NFL players: go ahead and strike you over-paid Neanderthals. The less $ you make, the better. Let the fans, many who probably make less than 40K/year, keep their money by not giving in to all overpriced sports paraphernalia. And Joe Schmo, put down the beer and stop encouraging them.


Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Coffee Mug Microwave Cake.

We made these last weekend. Here's the recipe. Serves 2, or 1 if you have a really big sweet tooth.

In a large mug add:
4 tablespoons flour, 4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa, 1/4 tsp. baking powder
Mix together in mug.
Add 1 egg and mix again.
Add 3 tablespoons milk and 3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips optional
splash of vanilla
Mix well in mug and microwave 2 1/2 minutes.

What I want to be when I grow up.

A few weeks ago someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up. My immediate response was to be an esthetician, but today, it came to me. I want to be Charlie Sheen when I grow up. (but with out the strippers, prostitutes drugs and alcohol, of course) How fun would it be to be THAT delusional? His accelerated speed to the bottom of this downward spiral that he's on, only makes me think that whatever he's on to make him think he's "winning" might be fun, or not.

I commend CBS for firing his gin soaked derriere, if only they had done it long ago, thus forcing him to miss out of millions of dollars, maybe he would have sobered up enough to become a productive member of society again, or not.

We watched Charlie on Ustream the other night for a few minutes. (Sidebar: If you use your iphone to stream a video, yeah, someone might call you and interupt it, Einstein.) He used the the phrase "it is what it is" which he commented what a dumb phrase that was. Which, I completely agree, and I responded with "Oh crap, he's starting to make sense now."

There are two phrases that my husband hates, "it is what it is" and "tell it like it is." Every time someone uses either of these around him, I cringe, because one day, he might go all Charlie Sheen on them and tell them exactly how dumb it is.

As I see it, there are two options for Charlie, a mental institution (since home rehab is obviously not working, insert surprised expression here) or a early delivery to the local celebrity cemetery. My money is on the latter. Costco has a great "2 for" deal on caskets, btw.

What I really want to be when I grow up is a writer for product descriptions. Or a writer for a tv show. Picket line, here I come.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Does that Segway come with snow chains? Feb. 9th 2011. Postal Service warns of default as losses mount.

Ever since Al Gore invented the internet and email became the way of communication we have been hearing the USPS is losing money. I personally never mailed that many letters/cards/bills but with the new bill pay and online payments being options, I'm really just too cheap to increase my amount owed by another 44cents. I am, however, a big fan of handwriting and mailing thank you cards. So, for that, the USPS has got me.

After Christmas, we got the nicest thank you card from some friends. It said something like "Friends know you have an interest in guns, good friends know what kind of ammo you use." Yeah, I give ammunition as gifts. It was the best thank you card we ever got, and it was mailed. We were lucky the USPS didn't lose it on the way.

When I mailed my payment for my epidural last summer, the USPS lost my check. Here's the thing that just baffles me: it went from our mail box to a PO box in our same SMALL town. That takes some kind of special.

I can totally understand people not mailing as many letters, but I don't understand why the postal service hasn't seen an increase in packages being mailed. We order stuff all the time that is sent USPS, much to our disappointment. And ebay...really? A loss? I've bought and sold stuff of ebay with costs adding up far beyond those of first class stamps that I used before the web became a way of life. Maybe their losses are due to Unions and Pensions. MAYBE. Haven't we seen this in other industries? Automobiles or Wisconsin, perhaps?

I like our mail carrier. She's very nice. She would stop and admire Abby and Remy when I was walking them. I know that she had a hard time delivering the mail with all our snow this year, so I bought her some chocolate truffles and wrote her a note and left it the mailbox. She left us a thank you note that same day. It lifted her spirits that week and I felt good. She drives a 4 wheel drive Chevy Blazer. As a past owner of one of these vehicles, I understand how bad the gas mileage is. As the USPS claims they are becoming more green, I'm wondering how. Petroleum based vehicles are still used, probably as the most common form of delivery. They complain that we aren't mailing as many letters... made out of paper... from trees, so I'm calling it, the USPS is environmentally unfriendly, they are jealous because they didn't come up with the idea of email. I want to see my mail being delivered in the snow on a Segway. Now that's saving the environment.

Matt says: Or how about we let them get some snazzy Predator Drone planes and air-drop the mail with some fun laser precision.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

It's all down hill after 29.

Elle was absolutely charming when I had to go to the doctor yesterday. She sat on my lap and just played with the toys I brought. When I had to go to the restroom, the xray tech held her and while she was taking xrays, the receptionist held her. She didn't make a sound with either of them. I was so proud of her. These trips could always go very poorly.

I went to the dr. with my wrist. I hurt it a few weeks ago and it wasn't healing as quickly as I thought it should, so I wanted it checked out before any more time passed. Just a sprain, so I have a splint that is oh so fun with an infant and will be taking Aleve for a while.

Ever since the 1st anniversary of my 29th birthday (or 30th birthday, depending on how you look at it) I've been falling apart. In October, I went to the doctor with my foot, fancy insole needed in my shoes. Now, I have a wrist splint. I'm wondering if I can brace body parts BEFORE I get hurt? Should I go ahead and get a couple for my ankles, knees and elbows, just in case?

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

It's square fish, Phyllis. Okay?

I'm still not sure what I'm doing being a mom. I remember right after we brought Elle home from the hospital, I was exhausted, sore, emotional and I sat on the edge of the bed thinking "I have to keep this baby alive." Thinking to change her diaper when she cried wasn't part of my normal routine yet and it seemed if she was either asleep or crying. Neither Matt or I could figure out why in the world people would choose to do this more than once, or why the Duggars had 19 (that's the last count, right?) I felt really disconneted from her in the beginning, I loved her, of course, but becoming a mother radically changed my life.

Now, we are getting along just fine. I really love her at this age, she turned 7 months on Monday. She sits up all on her own, but she hasn't learned to crawl yet. We sleep a lot, she is her mother's daughter. We play a lot and we laugh a lot.

I love that my friend Sarah will only give advice when I ask. After all, unsolicited advice is the #1 cause of homicide in America. (or maybe it's gun violence mostly related to gang activity, but my theory is interesting) I have recently started watching other mothers as a idea of what not to do. Last week, I was watching the Rachael Ray show when then had a segment on children's health. The was a boy in the audience who may have been 2 1/2 or 3, it's hard for me to gauge these things, and he still had a pacifier. So, my goal from seeing that is not to have a 4 year old while a pacifier in her mouth while trying to speak. It reminds me of an old women, wearing a moomoo with a cigarette dangling haphazardly from her mouth while trying to order a drink. Elle's on a good start, she only has her pacifier when she gets in her crib to go to sleep.

Matt and I went to Branson this past weekend, and to pass the time on the drive, we listened to the podcast "Stuff you should know." We listened to one about the history of McDonald's. Which is very interesting. So there was a Designing Women episode where Bernice's niece is in town for her competency hearing and they visit McDonald's....

BERNICE: And whenever we go to McDonald's, she always wants to know what the fish is like. And I always have to say, "It's square fish, Phyllis. Okay?"

I can't believe the Hulaburger didn't work out. Hulaburger: A Ray Kroc invention, it featured a slice of pineapple instead of meat. Originally intended for Roman Catholics who were not allowed to eat meat on Fridays during Lent. It was test-marketed in 1963.

If you are interested in the Stuff You Should Know podcast, click here.